THE Best Cheeze Sauce. (Seriously)

Okay, my dear vegan puppies, let's face some cold hard facts here:

We miss cheese. 

I'm not talking about Kraft Macaroni & Cheese; I'm talking real cheese . . .

English Seaside Cheddar

Cheese curds from Wisconsin

Browned and blistered provolone at 2 a.m. from Domino's, just before the morning after the night of too many.

And we've all seen "the" quick-n-easy mac & cheese from the cute and snappy people at Buzzfeed.

Mind you, I love the Buzzfeed people. I really do. Keith Habersberger is the ultimate time-suck. 

But their potato & carrot cheese sauce is absolutely abominable. (Sorry, Keith).

Turning baked potatoes all gluey in a blender is precisely what one should avoid doing to a potato. Just ask Julia Child. 

Yes, it is cheese-colored orange, thanks to the carrot. But, it tastes like the paste you ate in the second grade, minus the minty aftertaste. 

Cheese sauce made from cauliflower tastes skunky in my opinion. 

Others are mealy or lack the pungency of real cheese. 

And raw cashews? Come On! 

I am so tired of taking out a credit advance whenever I can find raw cashews.

There's gotta be a better way. . . 

Well, there is!

Check out that dried out, mealy container of Chinese take-out rice huddling in the back of your fridge . . . 
Or that bit of pasta from last-night's spaghetti dinner. 

There's your ticket to THE Best Cheeze Sauce (Seriously)

In your high-speed blender, chuck in:

1 cup leftover rice or pasta or a combination of the two (whatever ya got is fine)
(Or, for a richer sauce, substitute 1/2 cup cashews for half the rice or pasta.)

1/3 cup nutritional yeast (Here's my "go-to" on Amazon)

2 heaping Tbs of sun dried tomatoes in oil (If you chuck in 3 Tbs, that's okay)

2 Tbs corn starch

1 Tbs cider vinegar

1 Tbs vegan margarine

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp smoked paprika (from Trader Joe's) If you don't have it, add a tsp of the tasteless stuff you have on hand

1/4 tsp turmeric

2 cups hot water

Blitz that blender for all it's worth. Put that puppy on the "soup" setting.

If you don't have a BlendTec or a VitaMix, that's okay. Blend it, and then heat it in a sauce pan till simmering while whisking away. 

And there you have it. 

THE Best Cheeze Sauce (Seriously)

It will thicken up to the consistency of mayo -- almost to cream cheese thickness. 

It's rich, thanks to the sun dried tomatoes, tangy, and the cider vinegar gives it that pungency of cheese.

Keep it on hand. Schmear it on a bun along with a dotting of vegan chorizo and a fried-till-crispy Smart Dog and you'll have THE Best chili-cheese dog ever. 

Seriously.

© 2015 by Jon Buckner Wheat. All rights reserved.